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Formal Event Etiquette - Arrival and Seating
The social graces of formal
events are often a matter of tradition and learning.
Not being familiar with such protocol will easily identify
a person who does not participate in formal gatherings
on a regular basis. While in essence this is not hugely
important it can be a cause of embarrassment or create
an opening for partiality that may have been avoided
with proper preparation.
If you are to attend such a function
you will want to take note of some of the courteous
and accepted practices of these events. Two such areas
for instruction include proper arrival etiquette and
seating etiquette.
On Arrival...
If a man is attending a function with
an escort and there is outerwear to remove, the proper
procedure is to hand his hat, cane, umbrella and/or
gloves to the coat check assistant first.
He should then assist his escort with
the removal of her coat or cape and hand it to the assistant
before removing his own outerwear.
Usually a ticket is given for retrieval
of the garments. It is proper for the man to carry the
tickets and collect the garments upon leaving - assisting
his escort with her coat before putting on his own.
The man may now offer his left arm to
escort the lady into the event. She should put her right
hand through and place it on the upper part of his arm.
Greeting the Host/Hostess...
If there is a formal greeting line the
couple should only disengage their arms when about to
greet the host/hostess. A man should offer his right
hand, palm vertical, to shake the host's hand. When
greeting a lady he should offer his right hand, palm
facing up, to take her fingers in hand and lift it slightly
as a greeting. When previous greeters have kissed the
lady's hand it would also be appropriate to follow suit.
After greeting the host/hostess, the
man should introduce his escort. She should look her
host in the eye when being introduced and lower her
eyes when introduced to the hostess.
After the greeting do not try to engage
in conversation. Move away swiftly and exit the greeting
area.
Finding Seating...
It is improper to sit before being requested
by the host or hostess at a formal dinner. If you are
not given place cards choose a seat and stay near it
before the request to sit down.
For very formal dinners where introductions
will be made it is wise to sit about two thirds down
the left side of the table from the host's vantage point
with the lady sitting to the man's left. This gives
one the opportunity to hear several introductions before
being asked to do the same and will not be considered
presumptuous to the host.
If a man is seated next to a woman (or
his escort) he will be expected to help her be seated
and to rise from the table. Do so by holding the back
of the chair with both hands on the sides, thumbs forward,
and lift the seat back. When the lady sits (or rises)
gently guide the chair into position, allowing her to
hold the sides of the seat as she sits or place a hand
on the table for balance as she rises.
Becoming familiar with these procedures
will help any man or woman avoid the uncomfortable situation
of wondering what is expected at a formal event.
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